1. You’ve got filters on your pics ( What are you hiding?)
2. Your bio is just your Snapchat or Instagram handle (So you’re just looking for followers, got it.)
3. Men: You have a pic holding a fish (Is this some secret man code or something?)
4. Women: Putting “6ft or over only” (Did you know only 14-15% of men are over 6ft in the world?)
5. Men: You write “Over 6ft because it matters apparently” in your bio (Tell me something people care about already)
6. No bio just “Ask me anything” (Translation: I have the communication skills of a damp sponge.)
7. “Love to travel” (Groundbreaking.)
8. Only group photos (Great, so am I supposed to play detective?)
9. Every photo is you out with the guys (It’s clear what your priority is.)
10. Every photo is a toilet mirror selfie (Classy!)
11. Every photo is the same close-up selfie (We get it, you have one angle.)
12. Double-chin or up-the-nose selfies (Make some effort, please!)
13. Women pouting (2007 called, it wants its pose back.)
14. All your photos are from a different decade (It’s basically catfishing with your younger self.)
15. Tongue out in pics (Gross.)
16. Your bio says “No drama” (If you have to preempt it, maybe you’re the one attracting the drama?)
17. “Still figuring it out” (Translation: I’m going to waste your time)
18. “I’m actually 46 but it won’t let me change it” (Yeah, sure.)
19. “Looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously” (Translation: I don’t make plans, have goals, or own a calendar.)
20. Brits: Typical Sunday is roast dinner (Be more original.)
21. Gym mirror selfies (Cringe.)
22. Men: Gym selfies with your shirt off (It’s not the thirst trap you think it is.)

This list is all in jest, if you do any of these things it’s not the end of the world… or is it?